prodigal father returns on his eponymous day from epic public speaking thingy, bearing edible and non-edible tributes for esteemed publisher and her mother
It is true, I am back from London and stopped at “Harroods”.
Another catchup edition?!?! Indeed, because I have been in London speaking at a conference and being weirdly jetlagged. In any case, Mommy did a great job as interim editor and paid a lot of attention to Kina’s hair in the masthead.
Lisa Visits to Read Letters to Kina in Utero From CA & NY Baby Showers in 2016 for HS Graduation Speech Inspo for Her
“When you are 10… When you are 16…”
At Laurea’s baby shower, we invited our guests to fill out these letters to Kina for when she was 10, 18, and 30. We hadn’t pulled them out for seven and a half years, until our friend Lisa suddenly needed to give a graduation speech at the high school she teaches in. No spoilers, but the letters were great.
As Bart Simpson once said, I’m a little behind on my rounds. It’s been an eventful weekend, what can I say?
“Daddy, What If Your Name Was ‘Déja Boo’?”
Kina gives Daddy new superhero hane; it’s actually not bad…
I was going to say “drag name”, but that felt a little too appropriative. She has on multiple occasions this weekend called me “Déja Boo Yee”, which really rings nicely.
Proud parents listen as Kina describes elaborate plan to protect picked-on student; Mommy delicately explains inner lives of bullies
Everybody’s staying anonymous here, but I am proud of Kina and her tough girl classmates for standing up for a boy in her class who got the short end of the bully stick. As angry as it makes me to hear about these things, I have to remind myself that these kids are seven and eight years old, and that their behaviors are just an extension of their own experiences—much like the behaviors and neuroses of their adults. It’s hard to explain that all to Kina, but it’s a lot easier when you know she’s confident enough to protect the people who need protecting. She can spend the rest of her life becoming familiar with the virality of trauma, but she’s kind today.
Now that the students have learned everything they are capable of, it is time to cut loose and hit the waterfront
“Mr. Ortiz says we’ve learned all the units,” said Kina recently, “and that the rest of the school year is just for fun!” This, completely failing to acknowledge that the entirety of the 2023-24 school year has been fun for Kina and her classmates—and not lacking for educational rigor, though I think I have never known a class to embark on quite as many field trips as this one did, and will, for the remainder of this very long and very fun school year.
Child unimpressed with parents’ boring staycation gift, even though Daddy risked shame and imprisonment in picking it
Whenever Laurea and I have a little getaway for the two of us, we are supposed to bring Kina back little gifts. Clothes, toys, candy, whatever. This time, we snuck into the walled garden of our hotel and snipped off one of the hundreds of blooming peonies, which we thought Kina would appreciate, given her propensity for stealing flowers.
Reader, she did not appreciate it. Flowers are too boring.
Child forced to explain once again to babysitting grandparents that she can definitely pick her clothes
It’s hard to understand sometimes that seven is “big”, but it is good from time to time to be reminded—especially when parents are out of town and the grandparents kick in.
for reasons not yet fully understood, child allows one (1) kiss at apartment door before school drop off
Kina has not allowed us to smooch in her presence for several months, and we are suspicious of her motives for allowing it now, but we are taking advantage of the opportunity and are grateful to our leader.
It feels weird that the contemporary meaning of “politics” is what it is, when the original meaning is about the ways in which we make collective decisions and share power. Politicians today feel, in the abstract, so isolated and self-serving that it is easy to forget the many civil servants who are in fact out here trying to push and pull their way through the hard task of serving a community, a city, a nation, a world.
How do you provide for the sustenance and happiness of the people who live on your block and look like you without sacrificing the lives of the people who live in a faraway neighborhood? What does it mean to consider not just your own community but the ways in with your community is inextricably linked with those around you—even those that are seemingly very different from you?
I explained politicians to Kina in this way, possibly hoping that by naming it, I could make it so.
