The Daily Kina

Archive

“I Got a Fun New Game. It’s Called ‘Whatcha Doin?’”

I just thought this was a funny headline but it is an actual game

And then you have to pack a backpack and say you’re doing something else. I swear it makes sense when she teaches it.

dad

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#1709
May 13, 2025
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Mommy and Kina Have “The Talk”

Child is informed about eventual bodily changes as mommy and daddy come to realization that she’s becoming a tween and needs tween knowledge

Laurea is doing an amazing job at helping this little girl understand what it means to be in her body—and how to come prepared.

dad

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#1708
May 11, 2025
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“Can You Please Stop Worrying About Me So Much?”

She is a big kid and can take care of herself just fine

I’m still going to worry, just more quietly.

dad

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#1707
May 11, 2025
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Cheddar Cheese and Bacon—a Long-Standing Daddy Daughter Sandwich Tradition—Has Yellow Cheese Again

Child and daddy debate the question of whether or not the yellow tastes different

I am a white cheddar guy, but I also don’t believe the yellow tastes different. Fight me.

dad

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#1706
May 10, 2025
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“The Real Me Is Better Than the Fake Me”

AI skeptic says trust no facsimile of our esteemed publisher

Accept no substitute.

dad

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#1705
May 10, 2025
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Kid Spots Horror Doll on Otherwise Pleasant Walk

Somebody put a chuckie doll in their window and it ruined the vibe

Who puts a Chuckie doll in their window?

dad

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#1704
May 9, 2025
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Third Grade Reportedly “Not As Hard As Mister Ortiz Made It Seem”

Second grade teacher overestimated difficulty of getting older

It doesn’t get easier, you just get stronger. At math.

dad

p.s. I find myself playing catch-up again. Thank you for reading about last week.

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#1703
May 9, 2025
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Daddy Scolded for Coming Home Too Early

Kina’s precious Mommy-daughter bedtime interrupted unjustly

I’m just not a stay-out-late guy. I’m sorry.

dad

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#1702
May 8, 2025
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Child Is “Sick of Bread”

She has eaten her last sourdough country loaf breakfast

I keep telling her this is a good problem to have.

dad

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#1701
May 8, 2025
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Child Spends Many Hours in Long Island Socializing with Mommy’s Friends and One Infant

Demands active gameplay from “that lady”, “big bozo”, and “Scott”

I only just now realized that the headline should have read “ON Long Island”. Big Bozo.

dad

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#1700
May 7, 2025
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Environmentalists Gather Trash, Eat Cake at Annual Celebration of Futura’s Birth

mob of civic-minded third graders collect recyclables from strangers in McGolrick Park

Reader, the children were so proud to have collected the trash that they forgot to figure out what to do with the recently-emptied cooler full of cans afterwards.

dad

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#1699
May 7, 2025
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An Age of Big Feelings

Publisher finds herself easily upset lately, triggering release of extra hugs

Eight is turning out to be an emotional year for the big girl.

dad

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#1698
May 6, 2025
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Kid Is Brought To Work

On-camera correspondent and cookie decorating chef gets a taste of life at Daddy’s other newspaper job, brings joy

I really had to hustle to introduce her to A.G. Publishers gotta hang out.

dad

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#1697
April 29, 2025
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“I’m the Smoothie DJ!”

noise-sensitive smoothie lover dons headphones to make breakfast

The headphones come in handy for independent smoothie production.

dad

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#1696
April 29, 2025
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“We Were Just In London—Let’s Get Back to New York!”

Child tires of parents’ incessant nostalgic vacation musings

I mean, it was a nice vacation. We should be able to enjoy the afterglow.

dad

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#1695
April 28, 2025
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Fashion Critic: “Mommy Has a Lot of Confusing Garbage Shirts”

Mommy, fashion icon, takes review in its intended complimentary spirit

I wish I could actually show you the absurdly confusing shirt Kina was talking about. It really is great.

dad

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#1694
April 23, 2025
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Jetlagged Publisher Rises at 3:30 AM to Hunt for Chocolate Eggs

She expects Daddy to devise rhyming clues for each hidden egg

I was particularly proud of “An egg is like a CHICKEN BUBBLE—go find this one or you’re in _______”

dad

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#1693
April 23, 2025
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Publisher Takes in Majestic Views of Hyde Park From Private Nook in Ritzy Hotel Room That Mommy Booked

Kina wears fuzzy slippers, eats baked beans and orange slices at breakfast buffet, goes on unplanned easter egg hunt in hotel restaurants, then bids a fond farewell to London

Kina looks out over London on our last morning. What a trip.

dad

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#1692
April 21, 2025
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And a Fox to End the Trip

Kina’s furry friend provides a coda, is less cute when she’s screaming

Have you ever heard a fox’s natural night call? Go find one on Youtube and imagine what Londoners live with. I’ll take the rats.

dad

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#1691
April 21, 2025
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Kid Takes a Break From Tourism to Frolic in a Selection of London Playgrounds

She parents go down a steep slide on Columbia Road but allows them to rest on a bench while she makes a sand path in the Regents’ Park

It was only on this day that I realized I’d never before been to a playground in Europe. First time for everything.

dad

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#1690
April 20, 2025
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Theatre Critic Is Blown Away By My Neighbour Totoro

The miracle of puppetry has publisher at the edge of her seat in Drury Lane

Eventually, this staged version of My Neighbor Totoro will make its way to New York, at which point all my NYC readers should make their way to see the giant Totoro puppet. So sayeth the Publisher.

dad

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#1689
April 20, 2025
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Kid Rides Double-Decker Bus Home from Soho with Harrods Bag in Epic London Tourist Gesture

She absent-minded brushes away crumbs from Victoria Sponge on the 38

Monday was a very London day, even if Kina and I were like oil and water for a bit there. The double-decker bus ride home made it all better.

dad

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#1688
April 18, 2025
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Publisher Visits Young V&A with Local Expat Child Friends

Kina joins Tilda and Cecilia on romp through London’s new kids’ museum

Much spanking and boba skepticism from the child crew today after a visit to the kids’ V&A—which is almost astonishingly free of charge and wonderful.

dad

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#1687
April 18, 2025
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“What Am I Gonna Eat at the Pub?!”

American child introduced to British tradition of the Sunday Roast

She cannot quite grasp why you’d eat Thanksgiving dinner at a bar.

dad

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#1686
April 17, 2025
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In London for Barely 3 Hours, Kina Spots a Fox in the Car Park

Stereotypically British catdog a good omen to start her trip

An auspicious start to the trip: random fox, a charmed immigration officer, and the return of Oakwul.

dad

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#1685
April 17, 2025
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Publisher Is Off To London!

Family makes their way to favorite morning flight hotel sleepover

Time for you all to meet us in London, where we are spending Spring Break and listening to Kina’s burgeoning London accent. Mind the lift!

dad

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#1684
April 16, 2025
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Catchup Edition: The Bit Before We Go To London

Okay, needed a bit of a break after the fifth anniversary post, and now we’re in London, which I do want to get to. And so: Here’s everything in between, starting ten days ago.

“When I Graduate from College, Am I Supposed To Get an Apartment or a Job First?“

Kid gets pretty stressed out over customer entry to adulthood

“Are You Staring at Your Written Destiny?”

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#1683
April 14, 2025
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The Daily Kina Is Five

One thousand eight hundred twenty-six of the most momentous days in the history of the world, as experienced by this one kid in Brooklyn

The other day, we were all sitting around and watching videos of a much younger Kina, laughing at her squeaky little voice as she wore headphones and stomped around our apartment dragging a tiny wooden wagon full of blankets, threatening to go to the seashore because I wasn't listening to her.

That video is from April 9, 2020. Kina was three years old, and The Daily Kina—the newspaper you are reading right now—was six days old. Today, she is eight, and this esteemed publication is exactly five years old. If I am correct that I have not missed a single day, then there are one thousand eight hundred and twenty-six (1,826) editions of this periodical expression of one child's life sitting in several archival boxes on a shelf in her room.

Looking through those boxes would show you a change so gradual that you'd barely notice how much Kina was changing. A day is still a day, and one to the next is much the same, on paper as in life. But give it an hour or so—at a minute per issue, say—and you'd see Kina getting more curious, learning to read, trying to express herself, making sense of time. You'd notice me as I stopped calling her “toddler”, as I drew her a bit taller (and with real limbs), as her participation in the tradition of drawing a Sunday Parade tapered off, and then again as she started drawing and writing some of these pages herself. By the time you reached today's edition, some thirty hours later, you'd feel like you watched Kina grow up, but even then you just barely did. You missed the tantrums and the sleeping and the goofy laugh and all the things I forgot to write down and the way she still holds my hand when she crosses the street. I sometimes turn to the paper to figure out when something happened; sometimes it's in the boxes, often it's not. There's so much here. You missed so much.

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#1682
April 3, 2025
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“You’re a Nice Mommy but Not Too Nice Because You Have Expectations”

Publisher understands that even Mommies with expectations are nice

Kina’s helping me paint a lot of these editions lately. Sometimes she makes a little accidental blotch with the paint, and she says, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

I tell her there are no apologies in art. It’s all there for a reason.

dad

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#1681
April 3, 2025
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Lala Visit Catchup Edition

Kina’s Lala came for a long weekend, and I forgot to post up. Let’s investigate!

Publisher Stays Up Late to Greet Lala at Hotel

Surprise Kina reveal spoiled by Lala’s overeager car driver

Crowds Gather As Mommy and Lala Pick Kina Up From School

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#1680
April 2, 2025
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“You Don’t Know What It’s Like In the Third Grade!”

Child seems to think parents have forgotten being 8; she’s right.

I can’t even remember why she said this, let alone my third grade teacher’s name.

dad

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#1679
March 28, 2025
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“You Probably Have To Go To 3 or 4 Years of Training To Be a Heart Surgeon”

Kid admires learned skills of specialists who fixed Lolo Mon’s ticker

Kudos to Lolo Mon and his new heart valve. Maybe Kina will spend a few years learning to fix hearts.

dad

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#1678
March 28, 2025
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“I Need a Hug To Get Into the Spirit of Bed”

child gets up to go pee, needs hug reset to get back into “the zone”

There is something grandiose about The Spirit of Bed that I really admire. It was worth the hug.

daf

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#1677
March 27, 2025
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“Would You Give Me Some Tips On How To End a Conversation?”

Chatty swim lesson attendant holds polite publisher hostage in convo about fountain pens; she turns to Mommy for guidance

You could also just slowly walk away, but that is more advanced.

dad

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#1676
March 25, 2025
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“Reality Is Reality”

Child philosopher accepts her place in the multiverse, doesn’t dwell on what might have been

Sometimes you pick up the remote as you walk across the room. Maybe you don’t get quite as far in two seconds. That’s reality. It’s okay.

dad

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#1675
March 24, 2025
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“Would You Rather Be Weird and Know or Be Weird and Not Know?”

Kid contemplates the double-edged sword of self-awareness

Maybe actually I’d like to know.

dad

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#1674
March 23, 2025
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Kid Leads Team Icebreaker at Family Breakfast Table

Everybody say your name, your favorite tulip, and your favorite food

Never discount the impact of your colleagues’ knowing what your favorite tulip is. Mine is the orange one.

dad

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#1673
March 21, 2025
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A Kid’s Dream High School!

What happens when you let our publisher design her own education?

Classes in pools sound fun, I guess.

dad

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#1672
March 20, 2025
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Kid Scolds Parents For Chewing With Mouths Open

Mommy and Daddy shudder as they realize they’ve been doing this for years

What if we have been eating with our mouths open the entire time we have known each other, and the only way we finally found out is because our kid inherited the recessive gene trait of closed-mouth eating?

dad

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#1671
March 20, 2025
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“I’d Say You’re Odd In a Good Way, Mommy”

Mother is strange, but not in a way that should concern her.

She’s unique. One of a kind, and one is odd.

dad

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#1670
March 19, 2025
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“Why Do People Die?”

Challenged to find a question Daddy won’t answer, kid goes for broke

I have explained to Kina how people die and what it means to die, but I don’t think I had ever really thought about why we die. It seems nonsensical, like a fault in the laws of the universe. I understand entropy, of course, and the shortening of telemeres, the hardening of soft tissues and the brittleness of hard things. It’s hard to understand why things dissolve and what purpose it serves for us to… stop existing.

I don’t know how to answer that. It doesn’t make sense.

She was pleased to have stumped me.

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#1669
March 18, 2025
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Party Animal Rocks Out ‘til 10 at Record Store Dance Party, Suffers Late-Night Bout of Acid Reflux

Sometimes the lives of the child and the daddy match up; 9:45 chicken parm maybe a bad idea

Who among us has not stayed until they shut down the club, ate some spicy fried nonsense, and had to puke in order to sleep?

It’s a rite of passage.

dad

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#1668
March 18, 2025
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“I Dreamt That I Could Jump and Stay in the Air!”

Kid spends all morning jumping around with arms outstretched

Come for the flying dream, stay for THE COOL S.

dad

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#1667
March 17, 2025
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Kid Boycotts Variety Show

she stays home, watches movie and eats Hannah Pizza in act of protest

No variety show that rejects Kina’s close-up magic routine is worth watching, anyhow.

dad

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#1666
March 15, 2025
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“Cats Have Their Ways!”

Kid requests amusing stories about former household cats

Daddy recalls that time that Gertie had to get her kidneys flushed and they made her arms into little boots.

dad

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#1665
March 14, 2025
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Daddy Admonished For Brushing Hair Too Slowly

Volunteer stylist also dinged for brushing hair too hard

Kina makes me pretend to be a chatty hairstylist when I brush her hair, but I fear she has taken her role as a demanding client too seriously. Type 2Bs, amirite?

dad

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#1664
March 13, 2025
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Kid Selects Superpower

I am warning you right now, her rationale is a real gut punch

I think the alternatives she gave to us, her parents, for the ideal superpower were “going back in time” and “transporting yourself”, but she has picked “going back in time” so that she can live her life again and again and never lose the ones she loves. I think I’m still just a little heartbroken. I want us all to live forever, which is a superpower all unto itself, but it might also be nice to go back with Kina and the rest of my family to, well, another time.

dad

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#1663
March 12, 2025
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Photographer Captures Bronx Botanical Garden

She surveys the orchids, documents the winter landscape, and rides the tram

The orchids were lush, though.

dad

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#1662
March 11, 2025
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“Why Is Everybody So SCOOTY?”

Kid, trying to watch movie in living room, complains that parents shift around too much.

We were just trying to make ourselves comfortable for a little nappy nap.

dad

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#1661
March 11, 2025
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“The Line Leaders Got Fired and Now I'm the Substitute”

Don’t assign two rowdy boys to do the job of one calm publisher

She got pulled off Librarian duty to keep the lines orderly until the rowdy boys could be retrained.

dad

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#1660
March 10, 2025
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