Vandal Destroys First Ornament of Season

Everything bagel, a traditional symbol of Kina, ironically shattered by her

How proud Laurea was of her purchase of three beautiful ornaments from Bergdorf, including an everything bagel rendered in delicate colored glass—in honor of Kina, whose code name during the early days of Laurea’s pregnancy was The Everything Bagel. Upon the ornament’s arrival, she hung it carefully on the tree, so it would be visible from the door whenever we walked in. After work, I emerged from the bedroom to see Laurea gazing lovingly upon it. Was she thinking of the morning we took the pregnancy test? The trip later that day, still dazed, to Black Seed Bagel in the East Village, where we ate the everything bagel after which Kina was named? The ornaments her own mother gave her when she was a child? It was a touching scene. Simultaneously, an episode of She-Ra reached its conclusion on the TV, which always leaves Kina slightly unhinged. “Do you want to see the new ornament?” we asked. She groaned and contorted her body, clearly hungry for yet another thirty minutes of good versus evil, even as her mother picked her up to have a closer look. Still irritable, Kina reached out suddenly to grab the ornament. Knowing it was fragile, Laurea pulled back, just quickly enough to suggest that Kina was forbidden to touch it (and raise her ire) but not fast enough to get it out of reach. The three of us watched together as Kina hurled the ornament across the room, where it shattered into glassy crumbs. So much for the bagel. Time out.

For the rest of the night, Laurea and I debated whether or not we should replace the bagel. Does procuring a replacement undercut the consequences of Kina’s actions? Should we nonetheless buy a new one? It was ours, not hers—she doesn’t suffer for its absence. She doesn’t have any money that we can tax, so there’s no lesson to be learned about value. Most importantly: if we buy a new bagel, will she simply destroy that one, too, in a moment of rage? How do we raise a rational, empathetic, well-centered human being? What does the bagel stand for in this horrible year?

The everything bagel ornament, while sold out at Bergdorf’s, was still available this afternoon at Z Gallerie. It seems somebody has since purchased the last one. They will undoubtedly hang it on the highest bough.

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