River Shark Menaces Pool-Going Family

Floatie-wearing predator bares teeth, kicks super hard

“River Shark” is a menacing and thrilling pool game invented by Andrew and Des. In it, the eponymous river shark gives its quarry a short head start in a race to the other side of the pool. As its prey paddles, the river shark sings its ominous head start song:

Don’t fall in! River shark!

Don’t fall in! River shark!

Don’t fall in!

Here I come!

Kina spent the first few games of River Shark in breathless terror, as I desperately swam away from Andrew on my pool float with her on my back. Then, she turned the tables, snarling and doggy-paddling her way around the pool in her floatie vest, threatening to eat everybody in the pool.

These floaties have really given Kina loads of confidence, not just in her ability to swim, but in her capacity to chase down fully-grown adults in the water and symbolically devour them.

I’m not sure how we will survive four more days in the pool with her. Her appetite is voracious. Don’t fall in!

dad