Producer Strikes Movie Deal

She will be allowed to watch movie at home if she helps parents take cozy nap

There’s something at the intersection of today’s top headline, “Producer Strikes Movie Deal”, and the “UNFAIR!” headline that perfectly describes this weekend with Kina. Kina has been both very particular and very crafty about how she spends her time lately, demanding very specific conditions for her existence and structuring elaborate deals with us to ensure those conditions come to pass. We did this, of course, to ourselves; we’ve been striking bargains with Kina since before she could understand the options, and now she’s developed an acumen for negotiation on par with that of a high-end divorce lawyer.

Here’s roughly how yesterday’s bargaining looked:

Kina: Daddy, can we watch a movie when we go home?

Me: Not sure; you’ve been watching a lot of TV, and we should probably just play.

Kina: I wanna watch a movie. Can we make a deal?

Me: Hit me. What are you offering?

Kina: If IIIIIIII watch a movie, yooooouuuuu can take a nap.

Me: …

Kina: And I won’t bother you.

Me: …

Kina: And you can sleep on the couch OR on the bed, and I will give you a soft, soft blanket.

Me: So, I let you watch a movie, you will let me take a nap anywhere I want, on a soft, soft blanket.

Kina: Deal?

Me: Deal.

What can I say? It was a hot day, and I was exhausted. She cut Laurea in as well, as you can see in the top left headline, which means we both got to sleep. Two naps for the price of one movie! We watched that new Luca movie from Pixar, and I actually stayed awake for most of it, but that was my choice; she kept up her end of the deal. I did sleep for like ten minutes, which naturally means I missed the emotional pivot point of the entire movie. I might have to bargain for a rewatch later this summer.

I’ll throw in an ice pop.

This week’s edition of our critically acclaimed glossy Parade insert is a hand-cut and collaged (by Kina) construction paper depiction of yesterday’s visit to Domino Park with Kina’s beloved Ms. Olenick. The blue are fountains, and the purple is Kina. She demanded that we give paper Kina a t-shirt with Owlette from PJ Masks on it. Laurea drew an excellent Owlette, I think.

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