What can I tell you? It was tragic. The doctor—who had gently burned her own finger just minutes before while helping Mommy spoon out rainbow couscous into a glass container, prompting Daddy to immediately prescribe two minutes of cold running water over said finger, leaving the doctor’s hand “wet like snow” and in need of a band-aid (but a brown band-aid and not an actual Hello Kitty band-aid) that she would later show off to Ms. Olenick and Ms. Perez for morning meeting in a display of tremendous pathos, which in turn would vanish the second Ms. Olenick announced a scavenger hunt whose object was anything starting with the letter “D”, sending Kina off to her bedroom in search of her beloved Tiny Dog, who had not at all burned his butt and very much distracted Kina from the tragedy at hand—believes that Hello Kitty will be “okay”. There are few, if any, clues to suggest what might have prompted Hello Kitty to place her tail in a pot of boiling water. It’s 2021, I suppose, and we’ll take anything to break up the boredom.

dad