Child simultaneously loves, is overwhelmed by classmate’s giant make-your-own-pizza birthday party
“Abracadabra-choo!” offers local comedian
Sleepy kid shouts instructions from bedroom for a perfect slumber environment; parents comply
Monarch’s favorite part of the Intrepid Museum is “that 3D movie with the things that look like skittles”
Dr Patel performs the ritual dotting of her arms and recommends a hamburger bun someday
Kids vintage shopper knows her own fashion tastes better than stylish, well-meaning mommy
Local grownup fashionistas blanch in shocked admiration
He’s okay but looks gross; child unfazed by his post-ER face and missing teeth, asks to watch morning Ted Ed video
Complex penalties for quarters brought to bear against 1st grade, who are waging furious battle 4 popsicles
Fall equinox morning malaise enters the arena
Publisher produces new self-portrait for art dept
Kid totally steamed over uniform limitations