To the hunt! Hrrrrrrrngk!

dad

The kids are all right. We have that much, and I do not take it for granted.

For what it’s worth, that taped-on bit at the bottom is where my marker exploded. No starting over! The tape will cure all errors!

dad

So do we all.

dad

To be honest, if she thinks I’m weird on weekends, it’s only because she doesn’t see me in the middle of the day during the week, when I am weird to my coworkers instead of to her.

A very glittery bejeweled Parade for you all today. She picked up a little baggie of star glitter the other week, and I’ve been trying to control its release—today was its day, and now every time I pass our dining table today, I’ve had to pick up seven pieces of the shiny detritus. Was it worth it??

Every eye is a mirror when it’s looking right at you.

dad

I, too, resent having to wear pants, but we all have our cross to bear.

dad

It was a real toss-up today between the gigglefish and the butt prison as lead headline. Editing this paper is a tough job.

dad

I have no idea why the school serves two different sorts of cafeteria pizza. Based on the pictures I’ve seen, even the “good pizza” is no good, but if you ask Kina, the “bad pizza” is so unfathomably bad that an audible groan rings out through the cafeteria when it is served. So, all relative.

dad

Not as many pumpkins, but a really short line.

dad

Zoltar thinks you may need to let go of that person, thing, or situation that isn’t serving you. He also thinks your lucky numbers are 67, 42, 59, and 12.

I wish I were big.

dad

Kina keeps asking if wasps are good or bad, and why jellyfish exist, and if mosquitos serve any purpose at all, and I find it hard to explain to her that defining the purpose or value of another living thing relative to our own human existence is wildly insufficient, and so I just try to talk about what it would mean if all these things went away, and why there are so many jellyfish, and maybe that the mosquito’s best purpose is keeping humans out of the forests and swamps. What purpose do we serve, after all?

Hard to tell, some days.

dad

Some parents spell out their secrets to hide them from their kids; we text.

dad

Have fun at work today

I hope you like your treat and I love you so much and I hope that your work will be cool not hot make sure you will go on the swing tell me what we are going to eat for dinner. And tell me how bar bar class went with your sore arm I love you so much and have fun at work today I love you very much!

Spaghetti, of course, gets a ten.

dad

Wait until she learns about the Dewey Decimal System.

dad

On any given day, we pass a couple thousand total strangers, mixed in with probably a hundred people we know and either do or don’t notice. Of the remaining nineteen hundred total strangers, all of whom are slightly lost in this city, some live here full time and some flew here for the day. Except for the fact that they wear their backpacks on the front, there’s no point in wasting time identifying a tourist. Just point everybody in the right direction and get on with your day, Kina.

dad

I do remember reading lots of books about parenting before Kina was born, and then of course I was fielding lots of advice, and I was thinking about all the things my parents did to raise me that I never noticed (and in many cases could never remember). I even took a job to build a parenting product (RIP NYT Parenting), partly because I figured I’d be around a lot of other people who knew what they were doing, and I could copy them.

But in the end, everything was Kina, and all I knew was Kina, and the only teacher who mattered was Kina.

I think that’s just how it goes. The most difficult job in the world, and there’s no reliable coursework. You just wing it, and it tends to work. Thanks, kid.

To be clear, she is quoting me, her wrinkly and dusty father.

dad

There’s always a good thing to wonder as you’re drifting off to sleep and your daddy comes home from work.

dad

It’s a look.

dad