Happy anniversary to us, now please stop talking.

dad

Just watch this girl and her butterfly clip arbitrage game.

dad

Let’s hear it for the snakes that don’t strangle.

dad

Every vintage turtle desk lamp can be a beloved hypoallergenic pet if you just believe in yourself.

dad

My inner ear cannot tolerate more than one round on even the tamest kiddie coaster anymore, but once the girls figured out they could just ride together, it was all over for the operator of Coney Island’s famed Sea Serpent.

dad

Once you hear “Funky Town” as “Pumpkin Time” you will never go back. I can tell you this with real authority, since I have not stopped singing it in the last two days (to Kina’s consternation).

dad

Every time Gia or her sister Diane come by to babysit, they bring a new game for Kina to play. This is one of her favorite things about having a babysitter—and probably the only thing that makes it possible for us to go on dates without her. She has never met a game she didn’t like, and she somehow always wins. Now we have to buy Battleship.

dad

By this standard, I am also jealous of butterflies. Have a good weekend, and don’t get smooshed.

dad

It’s a busy morning on the street outside, and Kina has her eyes on you.

dad

She thinks I disapprove of her hacking her math test because I am jealous that she can do it.

dad

We regret the error and promise to showcase our Publisher’s long tresses more accurately in the future.

dad

Screaming is health.

dad

Let it be known that we are the house that lets you throw confetti at the end of the sleepover.

dad

They really thought midnights would come and there would be so much mischief, but at the end of the night it was just pizza and exhaustion—but fun exhaustion. More sleepover news in the Sunday edition.

dad

Kina just observes the goofball-scold spectrum, but considers herself above all this.

dad

I don’t know what “mischievous” means here, and I suspect Kina doesn’t either.

dad

If they are soft, they are pajamas.

dad

“Ways of life” in the sense of “existential phenomenology”, I think? Kina is fine with your ways of life.

dad

I mean, it literally gave me nightmares.

dad

My blood child wants you to know that she painted all the clothes in this piece herself—and she did quite a good job, if I do say so. I’m particularly fond of my tie-dye t-shirt at top right, which she achieved through my sophisticated “accidentally paint too much and blot off” technique. Like father, like daughter.

dad