This edition is largely a collection of quotes I’ve been holding onto all week, but the headline quotation is reflective of Kina’s recent cognizance of her own newsworthiness. See this quote, from June 15th: “My favorite part of the whole day was eating cheese from the tacos! Put that in the newspaper, Daddy!” I regret in hindsight not including that on June 16th, as it seems you’d probably have wanted to know that nothing on the Ides of June could beat a cheesy taco.
Typically, I’ll try to look into whatever it is our publisher asks us to, but there is a longstanding division of church and state in this newsroom—as in most—that protects the integrity of our journalists (me) from the business interests of the publisher (Kina). This occasionally leads to internal strife, as when the publisher steals my markers or attempts to crumple up the morning edition—the editorial staff will simply print a new one, but this can seriously delay delivery to our subscribers. Lately, the newsroom has found that distracting the business office with an episode of Octonauts will give us enough time to report and close the edition before she has an opportunity to meddle. While we have always let the publisher set the price (which has hovered roughly in the $22.32.30 range or so for weeks now) and occasionally offer a quote for the portrait, we steadfastly refuse to allow her to dictate the tenor or direction of our coverage. After all, we’re working for free.
You can probably see that I was going to include a top hat in Kina’s formal portrait today, but I didn’t have time to see how top hats look on a real head, because the episode of Octonauts was nearing its end (“Creature report! Creature report!”). I am nonetheless proud of the way I drew our little W. Randolph Hearst, lording it over me with her cigar as I toil away, back bent, sitting on a rickety stool. This is the state of journalism today, people. Look it up.
See you for the Sunday edition, everybody.