Mommy and Daddy Return From Miserable Day Alone

Two local parents were spotted sobbing yesterday in Manhattan as their child was attended to overnight by her paternal grandparents in Brooklyn. Sources claim to have seen them moving and moaning from location to location on a path through the city estimated to be nearly ten miles long. On the Hudson River bike path, the couple was said to be distraught as they rode north to a peaceful waterfront park. Having parked their bicycles, they were then seen walking south to the new Moynihan Train Hall, where they sullenly admired the architecture. Soon thereafter, the weeping parents were seen strolling through the West Village in search of both a book to read (easily obtained at Three Lives) and then a place to read it (more difficult, but ultimately at the smoky sidewalk tables at Hudson Bar and Books, where they wailed for nearly an hour). Having rested, the two of them were then seen whine-walking (again!) northeast to a fancy al fresco dinner, where they enjoyed five courses while bawling constantly. After pursuing the parents on their mournful sunset walk across town to a nice hotel suite, our sources lost track of them, but hotel workers claim that the couple were heard sniffling as they slept through the night and went to the bathroom uninterrupted. After a late checkout the next morning, the family was said to be reunited, and all were reportedly quite happy. “We will certainly never do this again,” claimed the parents, “in a month, when her other grandmother flies in. No way.”

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