Kid Lays Out a Solid Plan

I won’t belabor the sleep thing, having covered that yesterday—no improvement yet. I will, however transcribe for you here one of the stories Kina invented for us, and which she now reliably asks me to tell as one of her three guaranteed stories every night. It is called

Baby Rainbow Unicorn Goes to McCarren Park and Sees a Baby and the Baby Sneezes on Her

Daddy: Once upon a time, Baby Rainbow Unicorn went to McCarren Park to go on the swings, and when she got there she saw all these babies walking around like this [hands held out at neck level warily, swerving around] and going “ehhh, ehhhh”. As she was walking to the swings, one of the babies grabbed her right on the tummy, and Baby Rainbow Unicorn was all [weird face] and she looked down at the baby, and the baby looked up at her, and

she looked down at the baby, and

the baby looked up at her, and

she looked down at the baby, and

the baby looked up at her, and

then the baby went ahhhhhh chooo! and sneezed all over Baby Rainbow Unicorn’s face! And Baby Rainbow Unicorn said,

Kina: (enraged) “Ew! That! Is! Dis! Gus! TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!”

Daddy: And Baby Rainbow Unicorn went over to the water fountain and washed off her face like [blubba blubba blubba] and she was so angry and she wanted to leave the playground, and Hello Kitty—who was just sitting on a bench outside—said, “Baby Rainbow Unicorn, look out for all the babies!” because the babies were gathered all together by the gate going “ehhh, ehhh”, and Hello Kitty yelled, “Baby Rainbow Unicorn, you need to sneeze on the babies!” So Baby Rainbow Unicorn grabbed a feather and tickled her own nose until [preparing to sneeze] she SNEEZED on all the babies at the same time, and the babies all ran away and said,

Kina: (sweetly, as a baby might) “Ew, that is disgusTING!”

And so Baby Rainbow Unicorn and Hello Kitty went home and had chicken and french fries and they both took a nap. The end.

As Kina would say: That’s it. That’s the story. Last thing to say for the night: I really like the portrait I drew of Kina today, and I think I’ve learned that her cheeks are still chubby and more or less how lips and chins work. See you tomorrow. Quack, quack.

dad