Child Takes Impromptu Canoe Ride In Newtown Creek

Loyal Readers! Look to the bottom of this electronic mail missive for a drawing challenge that will call on you to deliver world-class cuteness! You might love it! You might scoff! The kitty is undeniably cute!

“What are your plans for Memorial Day weekend?” they ask. “Are you traveling?” they ask. “Will you stumble into another group of tangentially-related children and go with them into a large canoe floating in Brooklyn’s second-most-famous poop canal? Will you row out into the East River, where the mouth of the Newtown Creek is shockingly vast? Will you learn that massive barges still ply the waters of the canal, despite the presence of two unassuming canoes floating back and forth from said mouth of said canal to the cacophonous shade under the Pulaski Bridge? Will you dodge lumps of poop and admire the geese? Will you sustain a mild sunburn on the tops of your thighs? Will you watch as your six-year-old daughter, three seats in front of you, rows in concert with the volunteer coxswain? Will you hear her moaning about how much she wishes she could be hanging out with her friend Futura, who is sitting directly behind her and also moaning? Will you wash your hands thoroughly?”

I dunno, maybe.

This is somehow the first double-sided Parade we’ve seen in three years. It lays out, with perfect clarity, how one might draw a “cutie kitty” in the fashion of our esteemed publisher. To prove just how clear it is: Follow the instructions shown above to draw you own cutie kitty and reply to this newsletter with the result. We’re compiling the entries here at TDK HQ. Maybe we will share them. Maybe we will simply hoard the kitties. WHY NOT FIND OUT.

dad